Am I in the wrong?

For over a decade since getting married, I have done my best to be considerate of my wife regarding matters involving my in-laws.
Because my own family was not harmonious between my parents, I had a very difficult childhood, and I didn't want to pass that atmosphere and stress on to my wife. So, I have been trying my best in the middle, enduring the hardship.
For example, I made sure she was excused from almost every family gathering, trip, kimchi-making session, or ancestral rites, even if it meant I had to be the "bad guy" to my parents, just so she wouldn't be stressed.
However, all I ever asked was that since my parents live apart, the one day a year the family gathers, they could just have dinner at our house—and we have been doing this for years. But recently, she told me that even this feels like a burden and a source of stress, and warned me not to take this arrangement for granted. I was so dumbfounded and flabbergasted that we had a severe argument, and now I feel empty, as if all the efforts I've made all these years were in vain.
I am trying to look at this objectively to see if I am making unreasonable demands or if I have done something wrong, but I simply cannot understand it.
Perhaps it was my own greed to hope that my wife would be different and have a broader mind. It is a night where I have many thoughts weighing on me.