After living married for 10 years, I realized it's not actually about the money.txt

One of the biggest illusions about marriage is the belief that if two people who are well-matched meet,
everything will flow naturally like water.
However, marriage is the act of two people who have lived in different environments living together.
No matter how much you love each other, your thoughts and values can never perfectly align.
After reading a post titled "Once married, money is almost everything," I had a few thoughts.
Will marital disputes disappear if you have more money?
Of course, money is important.
Financial stability reduces anxiety about livelihood,
and solves many practical problems that couples face.
It is a perfectly rational judgment to consider a spouse's economic power or profession.
But as we all know, financial abundance does not guarantee a happy marriage.
I, too, live without financial lack,
but that doesn't mean I am free from marital arguments.
In fact, I fought most fiercely when my income was at its highest.
If we fought over 30,000 won when we had no money,
after having more money, we fight over 3 million won, 30 million won, and sometimes 300 million won.
The amount only changes; the conflict still exists.
Why is that?
We often think we are fighting because of money,
but in reality, we are fighting due to differences in opinion on how to use that money.
Because money is a resource created by grinding down one's time and life,
conflicts arise regarding how to spend it.
Therefore, even if more money comes in,
this conflict persists.
One person may prioritize saving,
while the other may prioritize enjoying the present life.
What seems like rational consumption to one person may look like waste to another.
Ultimately, money is merely the object of conflict; behind it, different values and judgments are clashing.
Of course, there are certainly conflicts that arise because of a lack of money.
However, solving economic problems does not mean your thoughts will become the same.
Money can reduce the reasons to fight,
but it does not teach you how not to fight when opinions differ.
In the end, I believe the solution is not more money,
but an attitude of accepting each other's differences.
Can you admit that you might be wrong?
Can you truly listen to your partner?
While believing your own thoughts are right, can you think from your partner's perspective and sometimes make concessions?
These are very obvious things to say.
However, maintaining this attitude in marriage
is much harder than earning more money.
Because you have to diminish your own ego.
In our society, marriage sometimes becomes a means of proving one's value.
Just as people want a nice house and a nice car,
they want to meet a spouse who is a bit more beautiful or has slightly better conditions.
On TV or social media, the image of a financially wealthy
and always affectionate couple is portrayed as the ideal marriage.
As a result, people often view their own marriages,
which differ from that image, as unhappy or wrong.
But the happiness of a marriage cannot be judged by conditions or images shown to others.
No matter how good the conditions of two people are, if they cannot acknowledge their differences,
living together is pain and hell.
Rather than a meager bank balance, it is true agony when Mom and Dad live under one roof hating each other.
That is why I believe marriage should not be entered into by someone who is simply economically prepared,
but by someone whose character is prepared to live with another person.
By "character," I do not mean grand morality.
It is an attitude of admitting one can be wrong, respecting the other's opinion,
and valuing the other's comfort as much as one's own.
Ultimately, what is important in marriage is not just meeting someone with good conditions.
It is about how prepared I am to be a good spouse to someone,
and whether the other person is also prepared in that way.
I believe that is the issue that more fundamentally determines a happy marriage than economic power or external conditions.